I’m not sure how many of you know this about me but I sang with the sister’s of the Holy Rock for one year. I know it’s hard to believe me doing those silly things but I was with them for 2 years, with one of those years being a training year. And we would dress up in those really good nun outfits complete with everything. I was sister Barbara and I have a T-shirt to prove it. The group sang in many, many places far and near. Before the show we would get ready and the only place for us to see ourselves with a mirror was often in washrooms. And so before a show there was always some of us in the washroom. On one particular occasion I was in the washroom pretty much ready to go out and there were maybe 3 or 4 of us present all dressed up in our nun habits. A young woman came into the washroom and I don’t think she was a part of any group, just someone who came in to use the facilities. When she saw all of us there she started talking about her faith and how she loved Jesus and God. And she started confessing her sins. And we told her that we weren’t real nuns and that these outfits were just costumes for a show. But she insisted and persisted. So we told her lovingly that she was forgiven (that wasn't a lie). I don’t know for sure but I’m thinking with all of those “nuns” around her, she felt some sort of holy presence.

The reason I tell that story is just simply to move us to the topic of presence because that is where we are starting today. Have you ever been around people who have a presence about them? Some people have reported that Mother Theresa had that presence about her. I’ve heard about people who got to be in Pope John Paul’s presence and felt that ‘presence’. And I want to say that I have a brother who has that presence about him. When I’m around my brother I think better thoughts. I become more reflective. It’s a feeling that’s hard to describe. It might be because he really listens to me when I’m speaking. Maybe you have some of those people as friends or family. People with a presence. There’s just something about them.

Multiply that a thousand time and you have Jesus. He had a holy presence about him. Jesus was more than the son of Mary, more than the son of Joseph, more than a mere carpenter. There was something about Jesus that made people think “God”. Jesus carried some sort of presence that made those around him think better thoughts, and want to live better lives, and want to become the people God created them to be. Jesus had brothers and sisters and friends, a mother and a father, cousins, uncles, aunts, grandmothers, grandfathers. He had many, many people in which he made a deep bond with.

And that is why it was so hard for all those people to imagine Jesus absence when Jesus tells them that he had to go. A terrible feeling falls over them. The deeper the bond the stronger the pain. And Jesus even tells them that he’s going to come back and they’re going to be together again. For 4 whole chapters Jesus talks about his going away. And that absence still hangs around. Thomas. He cries out, “ “Lord, we don’t know where you are going and we don’t know how you are going to get there. And we don’t understand anything you’re saying. And we don’t like any of it.”

Jesus is trying to lift up their spirits so they can see beyond death. But death is such a hard thing for people to experience. It doesn’t work to say to someone who has lost a loved one, “ “Don’t you worry. Things will be better for you over time.” You can talk and talk and talk and the pain of absence is still there, especially when bonds are deep.
There’s a bereavement poem that you may have heard spoken at funerals or written on funeral cards. It goes like this:
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.
*Note: This is the original version of this poem (the last line is interesting).

That is what Jesus is trying to tell his close friends, his family and all kinds of people he made bonds with over the years. The actual death of Jesus will not be the end of Jesus. God continues, the person continues, Jesus continues. Death brings with it an absence of presence in many ways. But a new presence reappears: in the winds, in the falling snow, in the rains, in the birds and flowers, in a quiet room, in other people and in all places. Jesus lives on.

All of this makes me think of all the little ‘deaths’ we have to go through each and every day. This is the kind of death the Bible talks a lot about. We read it in stories that talk about seeds dying into order for new life to rise up.

I’m thinking of Prairie Vision Pastoral Charge. Two years ago the 5 churches in this pastoral charge were going to close. Bob and Myrna were called to Prairie Vision to help them find their heart. In order to do that some of the things these 5 churches were doing had to die and some of the things these 5 churches were doing had to continue. And so for two years they struggled together. Today those 5 churches of Prairie Vision are seeing a new presence in their midst. There is a vibrant ministry of faith in which people of all sorts have been empowered to carry on Christ’s ministry. Some of the things continue and flourish and some things have needed to die. In order for all people in the church (including us) to live faithfully some things always need to stay the same. And some things always need to die.

And that’s the hard part of it all. Some of our church members have been in the church for so many years and they have seen so much of what they know as church presence going away. It’s not only the older members. The young ones too who feel the presence of their own parents in this church. And if something gets changed in this church, it could be connected in a deep bond with a story about their parents or grandparents. The way the church was 30-40 years ago is in many, many ways not the church in the year 2008. Just like the death of a loved one, some of the things in the church that carry a deep bond with our members have needed to die in order for new life to rise. I am not saying we cannot change and bring new things into the church. We must change along with the times. But I am saying that when change happens we all need to be sensitive to the pain that is left behind. Because the deeper the bond with our church the stronger the pain. Maybe we need to have a funeral or a memorial service for things that have died in the church over the years.

Just like Thomas says to Jesus, “We don’t know anything about that destination you’re going to Jesus. How can we know how to get there.” We say to Jesus, “Jesus, we don’t know what the future church looks like. We don’t know what God is up to here. Frankly, we see a lot of absence right now. How are we going to know the way to get to that future church if we don’t know the destination?”

And what does Jesus say? “Stay with me. Stick with me. I am the way. Talk about me. Talk with me. Let me pray with you. Take me into your boardrooms and talk to me.” When you get up in the morning think of me. When you come to church think of me and talk about me. I am the life you hunger for. Pray with me. Place your weary head upon my breast because I am the truth you seek. I am the way, I am the truth. And I am the life. Stay…with…me! says Jesus.