1 John 5: 1-6; John 15:9-17     Choosing to Love     E/DC         May 21, 2006

1. A minister tells of preaching on this difficult scripture with the command to love, to a congregation that had a long, painful conflict.  A discerning member said to her, ?In this church we know how to love one another.  We just don?t know how to show it!?  Showing love is moving from love as feeling ? warm, wonderful, exciting ? to an action ? sometimes easy and fun ? and sometimes a very difficult choice.  Jesus moves us from a warm fuzzy feeling to a deep moral choice.   To a love that seeks the best for self and others. 

2. This is the exact problem Jesus? disciples and the early church were having.  That?s the reason John writes our scripture.  They needed it!  The Jerusalem community was fractured over the acceptance of non - Jews and scattered.  The Corinthian community was splintered into various groups following Paul, Peter or Apollos.  At the end of the first century the church in Rome was pleading again with the Corinthians to take back some of the elders they?d kicked out.

3. And if we?re really honest, we can understand how hard it is for us to choose at times to show love.  Especially the kind of love that John writes of ? loving as Jesus loved.  Generously. Totally.    Without conditions.  Without counting the cost.  Forgiving.   I think perhaps our biggest block to loving in that self-giving way is pride.  How often have we heard or said, ?I have the right to be angry.?  We do feel anger - for 30 seconds.  Anything we feel after that is our choosing.  Keeping it going.  Fueling the fire so to speak.  We can be stuck in our rights, or choose to do something constructive to resolve it.  We can choose to act in a loving way, regardless of how the other person responds.  At the end of the day, I can only be responsible for the choices I make.

4. ?Not possible!? cried the disciples.  ?Not possible!? we want to cry out as well.  ?Possible!? Jesus says very clearly.   Why is it so important?  Because it has the potential to transform our lives from ho hum to hallelujah, from worn out to wonderful, from getting by to great, from life to Life!

5. And it is possible when we?re rooted in God?s love ? surrounded and living right in God?s love.  Isn?t that an amazing image?  Smack dab in the middle of God?s love.  This is an every day, every minute gift.  We know it?s possible.  It has been done before.  Jesus is the living proof we see walking around in that love.

6. This Biblical love ? not limited by feelings, but by what is right and true, also means a change from servants to friends, Jesus says.  The servant mode is distant and has a definite role.  It?s really if you?re good you?ll get a reward.  It can be about what we think another deserves.  It?s the kind of thing that gets us into trouble in families and communities.  That?s why Jesus moved to a different love for us ? as friends, not servants.  With friends there is equality and mutual give and take.  What is best for self and others.  In family conflict my favourite question is, (actually any conflict)  ?What is it you want most??  Often all the blaming and anger comes again.  So I repeat, ?What is it you want most??  If it is a good and healthy relationship you want, if it?s resolving the conflict, then how will you choose to love in a way that makes that happen?

7. Loving one another as Jesus loved.  The one who laid down his life for his friends.  A relationship where we are willing to sacrifice for the other.  In Canada in 2006, it likely won?t mean literally sacrificing our life.  But there may be things we need to sacrifice or give up to have the kind of relationships we want most.  1. Giving up my cynicism so I can trust sharing who I really am and tell you what?s important to me.  2. Sacrifice impatience and pre-judging so I can really listen.  3. Giving of time so we can help each other.  4. Sacrificing my martyr complex, and choosing instead to enjoy!

8. What would this kind of love look like?  In 2003, Val Cottrill, a Manitoba minister traveled to Guatemala as an International Accompanier, in the Witness for Peace Program. "Accompaniers" are individuals from countries outside Guatemala who volunteer to live among those who are under death threats because of their involvement in Human rights issues. Between the years of 1978 and 1983, the Guatemalan government and military implemented what is now known as the Scorched Earth Campaign, aimed at keeping the oppressed Indigenous majority of the population from seeking social, economic and political equity. Hundreds of villages throughout rural Guatemala were wiped out. Thousands of innocent people, from the very young to the very old were raped, murdered and thrown into unmarked mass graves. Twenty years later, those who witnessed and survived these massacres are bringing charges against those individuals responsible for planning and implementing them. As you can well imagine, those witnesses who are preparing to testify against these powerful criminals are in grave danger; their lives and the lives of their families are threatened and put at risk on a daily basis. Val is inviting us to share with her and many others in this cause - to be "unofficial" international observers. The more people there are throughout the world who are watching Guatemala, the more protected will be the well-being of both witnesses and accompaniers who are present there.  Val is back there again now, still laying down her life to be with those in need.
9. We don?t need to go so far away to love like this.  In the movie Marvin?s room, two sisters wait in the kitchen for the phone call that will tell whether Bessie will find a match for her bone marrow transplant.  Bessie has stayed home to look after her father and aunt for many years.  Lee has lived her own life and returned to see if she can be a donor.  The call comes.  The doctor reports there are no matches.  Lee and Bessie look at each other, knowing now that Bessie will die.  They embrace.  They both seem unsure how to carry on after this horrific news.  But Bessie?s face suddenly softens.  Her eyes crinkle up into a smile. 

?Oh, Lee.  I?ve been so lucky to have had Dad and Aunt Ruth.  I?ve had such love in my life.  You know, I look back and I?ve had such love.?

?They love you very much.?

?No, that?s not what I mean.  No.  I mean that I?ve loved them.  I?ve been so lucky to be able to love someone so much.?

Total reframing.  Radical love - looks for who we are able to love, rather than who loved us.

10. Or it might be really close by. The story is told of two brothers who farmed together successfully. One was single and the other was married with children. One day the single one thought, "It is not fair that my brother and I share the crops equally. He has many mouths to feed while I have only one. I know what I will do. In the middle of the night, I will take a bag of grain from my storage barn and put it in his. He will never suspect."

As life sometimes happens, the other brother was also thinking that day, "It is not fair that my brother and I share the crops equally. He has no one to look after him in his old age while my wife and I have many children. I know what I will do. I will take a bag of grain to him from my storage barn and put it in his. He will never suspect."

Weeks went by, but the number of bags in both storage barns remained the same. It was a mystery until one night, half way between the barns, the brothers bumped into each other. Immediately they understood and embraced each other.

11. Choosing to love in this deeply moral, difficult, faithful way.  This is what we?re called to do.  But there?s a wonderful side benefit to this.  It?s what transforms us.  It?s the way for us to be fully alive and have meaning and purpose.  Choosing to show love in word and action.  Choosing to listen and share and forgive.  For the sake of the Holy, for our sake, for our family and community?s sake.  It is possible because we live right smack dab in the middle of God?s love!